"Cherish"

"It didn't seem possible to gain so much happiness from so little."

- Peter Lerangis

"Give me my flowers now while I am here on earth," is what Sephora would express to me. It's like she had a second sight. An intuitive mind of knowing when I wanted to gift her to show my appreciation, I love her.

"Babe, why flowers?'' I asked, "I would prefer to give you something purposeful." Sephora approached me with open arms and embraced me with a hug. She asked, "Lou, how does this feel?" "Huh," I responded. She repeated the question. "This hug...How does it feel?" "It feels good babe, but what does that have to do with the question I asked you?" Sephora smiled. She glanced into my eyes and kissed my lips, slightly tugging me on the shirt as she walked away.. Sephora uttered, "One day you will understand. I'm going to shower, I'll be meeting Lauren for lunch." "OK babe," I replied.

My mind wandered as it got caught in the clouds eyeing Sephora's booty as it rocked side to side. Ooouuuu, I hate for her to leave, but I love to see her go! To keep busy, I decided to make a stop down to Zales. I felt the need to upgrade Sephora's wedding band. I hinted to her a few times about doing so for our third anniversary but she would always say, "No babe, it's ok, I'm sure you know what my favorite flowers are." This woman and these damn flowers! All they do is sit in water on the vanity set days at a time and dry up. I couldn't comprehend but being stubborn, I still took it upon myself to change her wedding bands because I know she will love it.

While driving from Zales, there was traffic on the way back home.. I heard the sirens of the ambulance and police cars, they sped past me... There was a detour to the next lane, as I drove I couldn't help but look. I saw a black Jaguar that resembled Sephora's car wrapped around a tree, my heart left my chest! I immediately pulled to the side of the road. Rushing to the scene on foot, I saw the dream catcher on the ground that I brought her. Sephora's arm was laying by her side under a yellow tarp, I could see the Pandora bracelet on her wrist. Just that fast, I lost my world. My limbs wouldn't allow me to walk any further, it's like my body had a stroke, numb. Weakness in my eyes, I couldn't hold them open... a blurred vision... The only thing I could do was fall to my knees and let out a loud wail, pain and agony. Hyperventilating, I was conscious enough to hold my arms up over my head to help aid in breathing... I felt like I was suffocating.... An officer ran to my rescue. I confirmed Sephora to be my wife. A small black box was placed into my hands... It was from Zales. I didn't have the strength to open it but I did anyway. There was a note that read, "I love you forever my King, Happy Anniversary!" Under the note appeared to be a gold ring with our initials engraved around the groove, "L&S for eternity." Sephora upgraded my wedding band as well, "Why God!" I cried. It felt like I was being punished. Sephora was struck by a drunk driver, he survived… baffling.

The morning of her funeral, we exchanged our precious metals. She was laid to rest with hers, I placed mine on my finger. "L&S for eternity." The last kiss on her lips. That night I was sleepless. I laid in bed trying to come to grips with Sephora's last words, "How does this hug feel?" Now, it all makes sense. Materialistic things weren't important, it was the little stuff that added value. Yearning for Sephora's laughs... her love, affection... her presence. Feeling insufficient, I fell apart.

"Give me my flowers while I can smell them." With each sniff, Sephora appreciated the beauty of life.... slightly Incomprehensible, I'm left to suffer, obliged to live without her. Cherishing the memories.... With my only choice to sit sunflowers in a vase at her headstone. - Author J.Jae